A Lady's Ruminations

"Jane was firm where she felt herself to be right." -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice


Thursday, April 05, 2007

Politically Incorrect European News

Admiral Lord Nelson must be rolling over in his grave and wondering what happened to the British Navy he gave his life serving.

As he signaled on 21 October 1805,

England expects that every man will do his duty.
These British sailors, who were (almost) all smiles and BFFs! with the Iranians, did not do their duty to England.

Such behavior by BRITISH NAVY personnel. Disgusting.

My grandfather sent this around in the e-mail. Fits rather perfectly.

POLITICALLY INCORRECT EUROPEAN NEWS

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.

Also, the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy.
Hilarious, but so true.

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