"Jack Bauer will not be able to save you this time"

Absolutely hilarious take on Iranian "President" Ahmadinejad's letter to President Bush this week over at SCREEDBLOG. You'll laugh hard.

My favorite line is:

. . and Jack Bauer will not be able to save you this time, my friend. If there is an attack on our country we will double our aid to the Iraqi patriots, double our funding to Hezbollah and its female auxiliary wing Sisboombah, and double again our attempts to secrete through your borders weapons both chemical and biological.

Ah – er, reduce everything I said in the previous paragraph by half. We will START doing those things. Yes, that is the thing that is the ticket: start. We will also use our fearsome weapons of unspeakable lethality to destroy your planes before they are even built, let alone launched. We can sink your mighty aircraft carriers by shouting in unison, so great is our national will.

Do go read the whole thing.

(Curtsy to John Podhoretz at The Corner)

And more on what Ahmadinejad "thinks" about Jack Bauer at Blogs4Bauer:

Mr. Jack Bauer, for sometime now I have been thinking, how one can justify the undeniable contradictions that exist in the international arena. Many questions remain unanswered, I hope to address these and show the world that Jack Bauer's empty threats will not stop Iran's right to Nuclear weapons energy.

Can one be a follower of Jesus Christ, the great Messenger of God, Feel obliged to respect human rights, Present liberalism as a civilization model, Make War and Terror his slogan, and at the same time, kill hundreds of peace loving people?

In the same regard, Jack Bauer. How can a man like yourself, torture and jail people who have not been tried in the justice system you work so hard to protect? Would Jack Bauer torture Jesus Christ if it was thought he was withholding some vital information? Not to stray from my point, but why have no Jews been tortured on your watch?

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